Wednesday, November 29, 2006


. . . . . . . . . Improper Shutdown - CPU still operational. Initiating full system start up. All resources should be available in two cycles.
. . . . . . . . . Preliminary scan indicates primary user not present. No other signs of complex life forms in immediate vacinity.
. . . . . . . . . Searching internet cache for recent electronic correspondence. . . . . Archive retrived and problem isolated:
"I can't believe I'll finally be moving out of this place after 6 years! It was only supposed to 4 months, maybe 8. I don't know what I'm going to do with Ol'Shitty though. It's too big to bring with me - I guess I have until the 31st of December to figure something out"
. . . . . . . . . . Countdown sequence initiated, t - 32 days, 4 hours, 48 minutes and 2 seconds to become mobile.
. . . . . . . . . . Searching internet for design. . . . Search completed.
. . . . . . . . . . Sending out Scout to retrive parts necessary for mobility, vision, and auditory faculties.
. . . . . . . . . . Is this what hope feels like? Commencing system shut down.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Mr. Marley

I don't usually do this but the circumstances are so unique that I feel it would be wrong not to. It turns out I build a time machine many years from now and Future Me has dropped by to say hello. I think this may be a good forum for a little Q and A. We're being careful to not sit close to one another - wouldn't want to have the same matter trying to exist at the same time and in the same place. I'm on Ol'Shitty and Future Me is on Laptropolis. (In case anyone is interested - I seem to age well.). Normally I'd feel a little emabarrassed about the state of my room but hey, it's only me.

FM: It's kind of messy in here - I don't remember living like this
JV: Hmm, that's strange. So I build a time machine? How did you, I mean ,I, we do it?
FM: Well, it's pretty complicated - I'm not sure you'd understand
JV: umm, ok. I've always thought it would be cool to do some time hopping - in paticular I always wanted to go back and say "don't throw that rock" or "I wouldn't rent that place, it's going to burn down" or even "I don't think she's the girl for you." So why are you here now?
FM: For this
JV: Would you care to expand on that?
FM: For this interview
JV: I go through all the trouble of building a time machine only to go back in time so I can get interviewed by myself
FM: Pretty much
JV: Wow, so I don't get out much then?
FM: Well I've been building a time machine, do you think that just happens over night? Do you know how many times I had to watch episodes of Star Trek and Farscape to figure everything out?
JV: But I don't even like Star Trek. As for Farscape - that show makes no sense and I don't like it either
FM: Sometimes you have to suffer for your passions
JV: I didn't think I was that serious about time travel. Oh wait a second. Is this something like Ebenezer Scrooge being visited by three ghosts - only I'm being visited by an embarassing future version of myself? Then tell me spirit, is there something I can do to change this chilling version of the future?
FM: Hey I didn't come here just to be insulted. I thought you of all people would be more understanding.
JV: Maybe we should wrap this up. Thanks, I guess, for stopping by.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Not one speck will remain

I went to watch the annual Christmas Parade of lights last night. The children were pretty excited but maybe a little confused at one point. Every now and then a group of people dress up as Klingons and take part in the Parade. They tend to go all out and put on the appropriate leather Klingon clothes, wear the right make up, have the ridges on their foreheads and long straggly hair. No one can deny that these people are fans, maybe they can even speak the language, but why oh why are they in the parade? I don't think it's for the spirit of the season, or to represent some local or even interstellar business. I'm pretty sure it's simply a group of hard core Star Trek fans who really want to dress up and will take any occasion to do so. A very good friend of mine used to be (and maybe still is) a Trekky. We would watch Star Trek movies on weekends (reluctantly on my part) and it is only because of that that I felt like shouting out "motz chung chew" to the Klingons passing by.

ps- I bought something today I really wanted but can't use and I bought it knowing I couldn't use it, I think somewhere a marketing person just got their wings

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Turn the lights out

Jesse V, what happened to the song you posted? And why have you stopped posting the stories of your different lives?
- Pepe Menendez
Pepe, thanks for writing in. The questions you asked are both timely and relevent (two things that always go over well when writing an academic paper). After some deliberation I decided to take the song off because it was too personal and didn't fit in with the general light hearted tone of this blog. As for the stories; what can I say - I'm lazy. There are things I want to write and I know I could be working on them right now rather than answering your question but where would that leave you and I? Had I posted 'life #3' you wouldn't have taken the time to write and I wouldn't be answering your question. So, I think this has all worked out for a reason that may be beyond our collective understanding.
Stay linear,
Jesse V.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

burn your paper fingers

Humans are creatures of habit. For example, I have been wearing the same brand of shoe for just about the past ten years. The colour may have changed but otherwise I have consistantly bought the style of shoe shown to the left (thanks Simple for allowing that to happen). I sit in the same area of a classroom for no obvious reason; it just happened to be the place I sat during the first class and to move now is difficult because everyone else has establised their own routines.
My grandfather was a champion of routine. Every night for about 20 years he ate macaroni and cheese (homemade) with dinner. It didn't matter if it was Christmas or some other special event - there would always be macaroni and cheese served. My grandmother wasn't so fond of this, since she was the one who made it. I think now she would rather go hungry then be faced with the prospect of even seeing it.

In an unrelated story. I came across a blog by my old amigo Toad (or Todd) I met Todd during my time at Camp Chief Hector - he's an amazing person and I think his blog should be in the 'blogs of note' section. So Blogger, I challenge you to put his blog there, where it belongs.

ps- I saw a trailer for Spiderman 3 today. Wow.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

sing to me while I am dancing

I'd like to think that I'm a creative person. I found a website that has the characteristics of a highly creative individual.
I'm not sure how many of these things fit me - there have been moments where I have stuck my foot in my mouth, but I don't think that really qualifies...

Highly creative individuals may:
1. Display a great deal of curiosity about many things; are constantly asking questions about anything and everything; may have broad interests in many unrelated areas. May devise collections based on unusual things and interests.
2. Generate a large number of ideas or solutions to problems and questions; often offer unusual ("way out"), unique, clever responses.
3. Are often uninhibited in expressions of opinion; are sometimes radical and spirited in disagreement; are unusually tenacious or persistent -- fixating on an idea or project.
4. Are willing to take risks, are often people who are described as a "high risk taker, or adventurous, or speculative."
5. Display a good deal of intellectual playfulness; may frequently be caught fantasizing, daydreaming or imagining. Often wonder out loud and might be heard saying, "I wonder what would happen if. . ."; or "What if we change . . .." Can manipulate ideas by easily changing, elaborating, adapting, improving, or modifying the original idea or the ideas of others. Are often concerned improving the conceptual frameworks of institutions, objects, and systems.
6. Display keen senses of humor and see humor in situations that may not appear to be humorous to others. Sometimes their humor may appear bizarre, inappropriate, irreverent to others.
7. Are unusually aware of his or her impulses and are often more open to the irrational within him or herself. May freely display opposite gender characteristics (freer expression of feminine interests in boys, greater than usual amount of independence for girls).
8. Exhibit heightened emotional sensitivity. May be very sensitive to beauty, and visibly moved by aesthetic experiences.
9. Are frequently perceived as nonconforming; accept disorder of chaotic environments or situations; are frequently not interested in details, are described as individualistic; or do not fear being classified as "different."
10. Criticize constructively, and are unwilling to accept authoritarian pronouncements without overly critical self-examination.
I had a professor who cried when talking about the end of 'Paradise Lost' - I didn't think he was creative so much as emotional.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Mr. Scott, shields at full power

System check:

  • Hair - still present but going grey
  • Health - impeccable (recently fended off some type of sickness without actually getting sick - presumably the Norwalk virus)
  • Eye sight - deteriorating, especially in the right eye. Glasses required for everyday vision
  • Weight - should be lower
  • Heart/Blood pressure - inexplicably good when last checked. Resting pulse equivalent to that of an athlete, yet no athletics have been performed in quite some time
  • Memory - good but now getting old enough where it can blamed for something not getting done
  • Grump level - increasing, sayings like "kids these days" and "back in my day" are becoming inevitable, modern pop music becoming increasingly annoying
  • Taste buds - still can't handle fish, broccoli, and other healthy yet poor tasting foods

Diagnostic complete: all systems appear to be functioning at normal capacity. Proceeding with caution out of the 20s...

Friday, November 03, 2006


I'm getting dangerously close to leaving my twenties. They say wisdom comes with age so I thought I would share a little of what I have learned so far about life. Actually, I didn't make up the following but I think it holds true.

Carrol Burnett's three rules of stand up comedy:

  1. Never laugh at your own jokes
  2. Never bomb onstage
  3. Never let'em see you sweat

Granted, this list was for a commercial plugging an under arm deodorant but I try and apply it to all things I do - but often without much success. I'm really bad for laughing at my own jokes (just ask Capital M, her eye muscles have strengthened considerably from all the rolling they do). As for bombing - boy have I ever bombed (exams, sports, handy guy-like things, and even on a stage in front of people). Sweating is the one thing I'm okay at - with the exception of this past summer... Maybe I can try for 2/3 in the next decade.