Saber Rider

It's Jamboree time in Inuvik. A chance for people to show their skills at skinning muskrats, tea boiling (includes starting a fire in the snow), harpoon throwing and dog sledding to name a few events. Most of the contests are open the public. Do I have the innate ability to skin and debone a muskrat? Magic 8 ball says - it's unlikely.

Here it is - Muktuk. If you missed the previous post where I mentioned this Northern delicacy I'll bring you up to speed - muktuk is raw beluga blubber. Whenever I mention this stuff to people the first question I get is "did you try it?" Up until tonight the answer was no. What does it taste like you ask? Let's start with what it smells and feels like. Muktuk does not smell like fish; it smells worse (if such a thing is possible). Sadly, beyond making a rather coarse comparison I can think of no way to describe the smell. The texture is equally unpleasant. No matter how hard I tried I could not puncture my little piece of muktuk with my plastic fork. This was a bad sign. Daunted, but determined, I pushed the blubber on my fork and, after a moment's hesitation, put it in my mouth. It tasted exactly like it smelled. My entire body felt like it was rebelling against what I had just done but I tried to keep my cool. The taste was so unpleasant that I thought it prudent to hold off on chewing until I had a chance to adapt (or at least not throw up). Chewing however, proved to be my undoing. Muktuk's texture is rather like an erasure - squishy yet surprisingly resilient. This tactile sensation sent my gag response into full gear and the muktuk found its way back on my plate, looking just as it had before I chewed it. My supervisor laughed at my reaction for 5 minutes.

I took this photo on my way home from the community feast at around 9:20pm. We'll have twenty-four hours of sunlight by Victoria Day weekend.

looking in

Another Thursday done. Not too much has been happening at the Learning Centre. Fortunately I still have a few photos from the trip to Jasper. But before those here's a recent inexcusable excuse for missing school:

• Staying home to do laundry

I really like the simplicity of that one.

This is Maligne Canyon, taken from the 2nd bridge.

There's nothing special about this photo - I just like the way it looks.

I planted this tree when I was in grade 8 (that's 19 years ago). People say it has my chin.

This is the Jasper Visitor Information Centre. People from town call the surrounding green space the 'cabbage patch.' Many people like to stand around there and play hacky sack; I'm not one of them.

This is the 6th bridge of Maligne Canyon. If you start at the top of the Canyon (the first picture) you can follow the Maligne River down and end up here. The nice thing about this area is that falling off the bridge or the nearby rocks won't result in certain death.

Danced in morning

I'm now back in Inuvik after spending a week in Jasper, AB. Though the occasion was a sombre one it was nice to see both my family and the mountains again.

Icanhascheezburger?

I took this from the kitchen window one morning; it's a fairly common sight. Many years ago my grandfather somehow conditioned a deer to come every day at 5:00pm for something to eat. There's a large fine for feeding wildlife but that didn't stop my grandfather from raiding the fridge for scraps for the deer. My grandmother soon found that bread, fruit and vegetables were disappearing at an alarming rate. Fortunately for my grandfather the deer stopped coming after a week or two.

Whistlers Mountain. You can see the top of skytram just above the clouds. This is probably the easiest way to get to the top of a mountain without actually climbing one.

Old Man Mountain. If you look at it right you can see the nose, chin and headdress of a man laying down.

During the summer the Athabasca River is a raging torrent and it would be impossible to get a reflection of Pyramid Mountain. Even a few hours later the river was flowing faster and the image wasn't as clear.

A real break down

This is perhaps one of the world's best cookies and it's only available in Jasper, AB. I brought a few back with me - maybe I can reverse engineer the recipe. The only change I'd make would be the addition of cinnamon.

I do this for a living

It’s been some time since my last post and quite a lot has happened. At the beginning of March I took a trip down to the capital city for an English curriculum conference. What’s a good anagram for ‘boring’? There isn’t one. Fortunately the latter part of the trip was saved by a visit from Capital M. If I was forced to choose one highlight of the brief time we spent together it would be the Snow King’s castle. We were walking to old town Yellowknife and happened upon a mysterious castle made of snow. A woman squirreled into a small snowy room demanded $5.00 to enter the Snow King’s domain. I couldn’t determine if the money was a tribute or a tithe; either way it was worth it.

The castle from afar.

Capital M was conscripted almost immediately after we arrived. Fortunately there were no threats from rival snow castle builders.

Ahh the barracks. There's nothing better than sitting around an icy table on an old stump.

Though not part of the Ice King's admission package, maple syrup on a stick was available for those who wanted to buy some.

Hail to the the king, baby.

thanks

This is my favourite picture from my high school yearbook. The careful observer will note the age difference between the four people in the front and the smiling, older gentleman in the back (It was quite some time before I noticed this). One may naturally assume that the man in the back is a relative of someone in the foreground but this is not the case. My grandfather loved having his picture taken and I can only assume that he saw a camera out, stopped, smiled and the result is forever immortalized in my yearbook. I can say that he would not have known any of the people standing in front of him.

I saw a young girl and her grandfather at the grocery store today and I was surprised at the loss I felt for my own. He died a little over 5 years ago and seeing those two in store took me back to when I was young. I grew up without a father but I spent a lot of time with my grandparents during the summer. Consequently, my grandfather was the only real male role model I had (I also thought Jack Tripper from 'Three's Company' was a good guy to emulate).

Even in my earliest memory my grandfather had a slow, measured gait. I can't say for certain but I feel that his driving speed would have been proportional to his walking speed. He was a man who loved his family, his home, fruit and cookies. I'm being a little glib because it's actually very hard to write about him and I feel as though I couldn't possibly do him justice. So instead maybe I'll just end this by saying- thanks Grandpa.

eternal beating

A few things have happened since my last post:

• I reached the halfway mark of my contract.
• I ordered and received a new camera. Capital M's sister, who will be referred to as Miss Poppy, recommended the FujiFilm FinePix F200 EXR. The following pictures were taken with it.
• As of today, Inuvik tied Toronto for the time of sunset (sunrise is another story). In the past month and 5 days we have gone from no sunlight to just about 6 hours.

There's a campsite not far from the learning centre. I mention this because the weather has been a balmy -20 degrees (and sometimes even a little warmer). It feels like I could be wearing shorts, or setting up a tent. I've become acclimatized to colder temperatures and this recent warm streak feels like Spring.

Many years ago I played a game for the Playstation called 'Silent Hill.' It was probably one of the scariest gaming/movie experiences I've ever had. The story revolves around a guy searching for his daughter in a town called Silent Hill. The town is a scary and sinister place but it pales when compared to evil Silent Hill. Yes, just when it seemed like things were at their scariest, they could actually get even more scary. Evil Silent Hill was filled with rusted metal and walkways like the one pictured above. Several of the business in town (and my apartment) have something similar leading to the entrance; I'm kind of glad it's not so dark out anymore.

This is my new classroom. I'm teaching the two streams of grade 12 English this semester. So far it's been a rough week and a half. There are almost 6 times more students than I had previously and none of them like to do anything. That's not an exaggeration. One woman looks at me with pure hate and another questions everything I do. 95 classes to go.
Yep, that's my chicken scratch. So far one woman has dropped my class because she said the words I use are too big. Some of the above words come from the readings we've done in class and some are things I've said; students are supposed to give me a list of words they didn't understand. I'm still trying to figure out if 'pothole' is meant as a joke. I hope it's a joke.
There's no specific reason or assoiciation with this picture, though there can be.

Dear stubborn seed:
Rime lined trees. If I was at all poetic I could do something with that.

Ice Road Trucker

Please forgive the poor quality of the accompanying picture. The Nikon Coolpix 4600 takes fine outdoor photos when there is lots of natural light but it has a really tough time with low light conditions. Sadly, this is also the last photo that will be taken with the old Nikon. I don't know if it was the cold or age but whenever I try and turn the camera on I get a message that says "system error 1 0." Let's all take a moment and remember the little camera that only worked well in bright outdoor light.

This past Friday I had the opportunity (thanks to a kind and considerate supervisor) to travel to the nearby town of Aklavik. A coworker had been there for a week and her husband was driving to pick her up. I was told to bring extra food, clothes, and water in case the car broke down and we ended up stranded on the ice road (I brought none of those things). I think 'ice road' is an apt description but 'river' would be better still. The entire distance between the two towns is travelled (during the winter) by driving Southwest on the McKenzie river and then making a turn onto the Peel river. It's kind of like canoeing - only in a car. Riverbanks bookend the road and the waves have frozen into fun little bumps. Fun, of course, is a relative term - I feel fairly certain that Capital M would have been car sick. To my surprise there were even road signs (like the signpost picture) but no speed limits.

Though the weather was fine I could definitely foresee some issues with driving on a river. Surprisingly the snow on the ice is plowed, and in some parts the ice is even groomed, but if there was a strong wind it would turn the road invisible with blowing snow. For the most part this would be fine but we passed several tributaries that could easily be mistaken for part of the designated ice road if an unwary driver were caught in a storm.

I'll stop for now and write about Aklavik, the town with no ketchup, later.

take me back

These are for all the people who are currently in snowless conditions.

The town hospital. I've been there once; accompanying a student who had a strange lapse during math. Though it was a nice enough place I have no desire to go back.

Unsurprisingly, people like to Skidoo around here. In fact, someone's doing it right now - in total darkness at 9:30pm.

I took this while standing on the mighty McKenzie river around 1:00pm. Unfortunately, I was unable to fully capture the blowing snow (on film). While taking this I was thinking "there's no such as thing as cold - just an absence heat." That didn't make my fingers feel any warmer.

as the world turned out

Dear build up of electrons:

Please know it is never my intention to take you away from the protons you find yourselves naturally attracted to. Maybe, it's not that. Maybe you see my getting up as a chance to make a break for it - you just 'happen' to rub off the chair and hop aboard the S.S Jesse V. - the preferred cruise line for single electrons. I don't know what time is like for an atom (or subatomic particle in your case) but I'd imagine that in the brief moment before I inevitably touch something made of metal you have experienced a lifetime of longing for the protons you abandoned. I am, as always, touched by your dramatic reunion when you leave the singles cruise and go back to the life you once knew. However, I am concerned about the frequency of this pattern. No one likes mind games electrons, and you may want to seriously consider whether you want to be in a relationship or on your own. I only write this because I care and want the best for you.

With compassion,

Jesse V.

Funny feeling

I would have admonished my English students for assuming the reader knows too much as I did in yesterday's post. I did not tell why Tropicana was filming a commercial up here - it was to coincide with the Sunrise Festival. On January 6th the sun bashfully made a brief appearance before ducking down below the horizon. The following weekend the town held the Sunrise festival complete with a town feast on Friday and a bonfire the next day. The filming of the commercial happened a few hours before the fire. Unfortunately, my camera batteries died before the balloon was lit up but if you follow this link you'll see some great pictures of Tropicana's artificial sun.

In school related news, my supervisor recently told one of my students that she would rather have her at school for two days a week than drunk at home for seven. The woman has to be sober at school. Another of my students told me that her step-father died of a heart attack while they were dancing at a New Year's dance. Sweet mother of Santa Fe. Oddly, the girl didn't seem too fazed by this.

I thought I'd wrap this post up with another new word that should be included in the dictionary:

portentially - adv. a omen that signifies a possible occurrence

How is this not a real word?

best of 2009

We're only three weeks into January and I can already cross a New Year's resolution off my list - be an unseen extra in an orange juice commercial. Tropicana, maker of highly addictive orange juice, decided to shoot an ad up here and needed townspeople to stand around looking at a large inflated balloon. They had also asked the Inuvik Drum Dancers to perform and I believe some of the dancers may figure prominently in the finished commercial. It was below -40 that day and after an hour and a half of standing around I had to question how much more free orange juice (I had accumulated 6 bottles) was worth the strange absence of feeling in my toes. The shooting wasn't completely finished but I decided to go home. I had heard that toes were important for balance and learned just how true that was as I stumbled back to my apartment.

This is coming a little later than I had intended but I compiled a list for the best of 2009.

Here it is:

Best book:

It's a toss up between The Magicians by Lev Grossman and The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami. Depending on the day I'd give a different answer but tonight - since I'm listening to Delerium and feeling reflective - I'll give it to Murakami. I think I have a soft spot for the book since both its main character and I were unemployed. Unlike Toru Okada I wasn't offered a job while sitting on a park bench, though I did hope I might be while I was.

Best Movie:

District 9, The Hangover, Zombieland and The Watchmen. Apparently I have trouble being decisive (this is almost every movie I saw in the theatre in 2009)

Best cd I heard:

Ghostkeeper's 'And the Children of the Great Northern Muskeg.' I came across the band while making a cd for Capital M. I don't think it would be for everyone but I would recommend listening to 'Lady of the Sky.'

Best video game:

Uncharted 2 (Naughty Dog) for the PS3. I think that if action movies were this well made there would be a lot more people going to action movies. This is the only game I own that I went through the trouble of obtaining a platinum trophy (maybe I shouldn't admit that) and I still look forward to going through it again.

Honourable mention goes to Flower (That Game Company).

Best career decision:

To leave my previous job

Best cause of shingles:

The months of unemployment that followed leaving my job

Best time to get a settlement from getting hit by a taxi in 2004:

After six months of unemployment in 2009

Best job interview:

I didn't get the job but an interview with Outward Bound was by far the most positive (and morale boosting) interview I had during an otherwise bleak time (on the employment side of life). The interviewers were genuinely interested in what I had to say and one of the interviewers gave me a lot of feedback on how I did.

Best camping moment: Seeing an ice cream boat. Honourable mention goes to the epic rainstorm that proved my tent is absolutely not waterproof. It wasn't super fun at the time but I can look back fondly now. Ha ha weather, you got me.

Best teaching moment (up North): There were a few bursaries being offered and I turned the application into a class assignment (I don't think my students had any intention of applying). Two of my students ended up winning and one of the winners entered my English class and shouted "I love English!" Next time I'm going to charge an editing fee.

Best fruit moment:

This is a category born in the Arctic Circle. One day a box of oranges was left in the Learning Centre by an upper administration person of the college. They had been intended for one of the smaller communities but the flight was cancelled due to bad weather. Those oranges surely were all that stood between that community and an epidemic of scurvy. There were probably people waiting with arms outstretched at the airport, hoping against hope that somehow the plane had managed to leave Inuvik and would arrive with its precious cargo. Sadly, it would not. On the bright side, the oranges were delicious and didn't last more than a few minutes after the students knew of their existence.

That ends my list. I guess I'm now officially back.

before and after

While saying my goodbyes a co-worker told me there was some concern as to whether or not I was returning after the Christmas break. This was mostly meant as a joke because she went on to say that the concern was due to my classroom being so clean. I could have retorted with something witty (which I still can't think of), instead I just said "to be continued, followed by an ellipses."

Later, when the plane I was on broke through the clouds and I saw the sun for the first time in weeks, there was silent yet audible emotion from every one of the other passengers. I'm sure that if Crayloa made a crayon for 'joy' its colour would be the sun.

This morning I woke up in another world. One with two cats and a Capital M. Though I have had a really positive experience up North it is wonderful to be home.

1st picture - Inuvik - Igloo church taken around 4:00pm

2nd picture - Toronto, Lake Ontario - taken around 8:30am

10 simple rules for showering in Inuvik

Following these simple rules will result in a stress free shower:

1. Close the bathroom door (if not closed the smoke detector will go off)

2. Fill your mind with peaceful thoughts

3. Check shower head position - make sure it is up and to the side

4. Turn on taps - sometimes the pressure is so great it will bypass tub faucet and come out shower head (for this reason you'll be thankful for #3)

5. Water often needs to run for awhile to get rid of excess sediment build up (you can use this time to floss teeth, read National Geographic) *Note, water shown above is not as brown as in real life

6. Reposition shower head and shower. Note that water temperature fluctuations are frequent and severe. Be prepared for the worst, this may mean turning off the taps on occasion

7. Remember this is only a small part of your day

8. When finished showering do not open the door (see #1).

9. Move shower head up and to the side.

10. Quickly close the door after leaving the bathroom (see #1)

Nemesis

This is the conclusion of my correspondence with Ms. Choyce. I would like nothing better than to respond to her e-mail but I don't think it would do any good so I'm turning the other cheek. Before posting her reply I would like to make a few things clear: 1) I don't know her or 'Allyson' 2) I've sent Ms. Choyce a total of two e-mails, both of which I have faithfully posted here 3) I'm a guy (Nature Witch comes from my hotmail address)

I've had a few nemeses in my life: my high school math teacher, a supervisor of a summer job in 1994, and a practicum supervisor in the B. Ed program. Ms. Choyce has just joined their ranks.

And now, an e-mail that manages to be patronizing, clueless and self righteous:

Date: Sun, 13 Dec 2009 04:53:31 -0300

Dear Miss Nature Witch,
Sorry you are still holding bad feelings about this.
That e-mail was intended for Allyson....and was not meant to go on the list serve.
Really you should worry about more important things...and I hope you are doing more to care about the world then just taking spelling mistakes and crazy accusations out on small projects helping kids in the DR and Africa.

Allyson never paid back what she promised.....That now her bad karma.
To do that to a small project like ours is a horrible selfish thing to do. A person meaning well does not promise things they can not do...and then leave people broke and try to ruin good projects aiding kids. I mean really.

We get tones of wonderful e-mails and thank you letter from local and international people. I work with the kids everyday...building homes, pre-schools, running programmes...
I have won the Red Cross Humanitarian Award, Worked for the UN and just been offered another UN job, plus just got a full scholarship from Yale University because of my work, sponsoring not one but 2 of our projects in South Africa.

....COLORS also gets support from some Very well known people and NGOs who have all seen our work on the ground.....leaving you looking silly for writing me this. And despite all this...I am dyslexic and have achieved way above this despite spelling mistakes..petty petty.
.

I know your a friend of Allysons so get over it and tell her that she might not feel so guilty if she pays back what she promised. It is not good to carry around such bad karma.

Hope your doing more with your life then writing ridiculous e-mails to volunteers working in Africa. You are now off my list, thank God. Please dont write again and restrain your efforts for bigger more important things.
Peace and Love

Justice

I received an e-mail asking for a donation this morning. I've been waiting for it for a long time. Here's my response and the events that lead up to it:

Ms. Choyce,

Almost two years ago you sent around an e-mail meant to shame someone into paying back some debt. The e-mail was riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes and made you look like a mean and vindictive person; hardly the sort of communication that should be coming from a respectable organization. I sent you a well meaning e-mail and received a glib and dismissive response back. Consequently, I want you to know that yours is the last organization I would ever donate to. Moreover, I would discourage anyone from doing the same due to your complete lack of integrity (and use of spell check). There are many organizations attempting to do some good in this world and I can't say that I believe, based on your personal communications, that yours is one of them.

Sincerely,

Jesse

March 31, 2008 7:23:58 AM

Subject: Allyson Invoice

Allyson,

COLORS has not recived any of the money you prommised to pay back after you made the rorary project fall through. Stan from Rotary promissed you would keep your word and pay it back since it the ethical thing to do.

I trusted you, again, ....and hoped you would pull through.

You promissed you would pay at leaset in instalments every month.???? But you have not helped at all...and I am working so hard each day keeping 5 projects running at once, and feel it should not be nesssary for me to have to follow up on this at the point. It should be done and completed,,,but we are all still waiting on you.

COLORS never would have bought you this ticket if you did not alreday promis to pull through and commit to the Rotary swazilandproject. The only reason we bought the tickets to this location was because the rotary wanted to fund the project there with your contacts.

This all left COLORS in a terrible possion, having lost the funds from your ticket once you backed out

This is issue is now larger then just us,

This is Kids and volunteers in need that this money is for....not for you to keep. The support was not inteneded for you to waist but to pay back to COLORS respctfully.

It has been over three months of waiting for you to take action...so I've been asked by my donors to writ you this letter so you can justifiy the funds and return the kids money where it belongs.

We have some fantastic programs running here. All the volunteers know that the money coming from you is what should be helping them be here too. So they are still waiting for their extra support.

Next week Lesley Choyce and the donors who sponcered the flight will be comming buy your house for the money you owe COLORS. or you can just mail a check.

Please get someone to write a check to COLORS for what you owe.

Please write your chcek out to: Project COLORS

NOte: funds owed for flight

Project COLORS attn: Lesleychoyce

83 leslie Rd,

Nova Scotia B2Z 1P8

lawrencetown

Canada

Sunyata A. Choyce
Founding Director, Project COLORS International South Africa #011-27-78-871-6939

---

Sent: Monday, March 31, 2008 6:53:51 PM
Subject: RE: Allyson invoice

Dear Ms. Choyce,

I'm writing in regards to the message you sent out earlier today. I've read it over several times and am both surprised and disappointed with its content. Before I go further let me say that I have no doubt you work hard and have the best intentions of effecting a positive change. However, I think you have done more to damage your credibility with a single e-mail than the years of hard work you put forth to make that change happen.
Your choice to include the ids-list serve in a private matter is a strange one. I can only imagine that you have every dime accounted for and are in great need of the money owing to you. What's unfortunate is that you have done the opposite of what you intended - you have created sympathy for a person who would otherwise deserve none. The threatening tone at the end of the message was especially uncalled for.
You have also involved the twit who posted anonymously, the other students, and myself (which is why I'm writing this). Your message was so unprofessionally written that it makes me question what type of organization you run. There were so many spelling and grammar errors that it was almost illegible. If anything your e-mail is a lesson to everyone in how not to handle a problem situation. Most damningly, it gives no one a reason to support your efforts when there are other more credible projects that are just as in need of funding.
I do hope you receive your money and I sincerely hope this incident doesn't derail your hard work.

Sincerely,

Jesse V.

Sent April 1^st, 2008

Re: Allyson Invoice

Dont worry it wont.

Sunyata A. Choyce

Founding Director, Project COLORS International
South Africa #011-27-78-871-6939, www.projectcolors.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/projectcolors

making it work

Top - taken at 12:15pm (yes, that's the moon)

Next - back of elementary school

Next - taken from my window at work around 12:50pm

Last - Gazebo by College

Mr. Snowman

Well it finally happened. The sun has stopped rising and setting. When is it coming back? Not until sometime in January. Fortunately it's not totally dark all day up here. There's no direct sunlight but there is a decent amount of light for about 4 hours. It may not be much but I'll take what I can get.

Also, in the spirit of the Web 2.0 I'm going to be better about responding to comments on my blog. To Hamesy and Butterfly-Girl, I don't think my instructor appreciated my comments but it made my day to see yours.

Keep reflecting,

Jesse V.

Don't wanna behave

Here's a new student. He was tucked away in a box labelled 'Christmas.' I asked him if he was hungry and he said "no, I'm stuffed." (Ba dum pum pum)

complaint

Dear Primo Foods:

I recently tried your 'country harvest vegetable' soup. It's gross.

Cheers,
Jesse V,